15 Hardest Lessons We Learned From Rory Gilmore

Many of Gilmore Girls' biggest fans kind of grew up with the characters, and while all the characters on the show evolved and grew over the span of the series, none did so more than Rory. That's simply because, well, she was a teenager when the show first started - she was still learning how to handle life and all the things it was throwing at her. There were times when she seemed so perfect it was almost ridiculous, and then times when she did things that many of us have done, or when she did things that had us all shaking our heads. She was identifiable, and one of the best parts of the show was getting a front row seat to watch her figure things out - and in the process, Rory Gilmore helped many of us figure things out as well.

From how to cope with being the new kid at school or the slightly odd kid who had different interests than others, to figuring out young love and knowing who the right guy for you is, or when to cut someone loose, to figuring out how to chase your career aspirations - Rory Gilmore did it all. Some of it well, some of it not so well.

Now, we know you probably re-watched the series when the Netflix revival was announced, but in case you needed an excuse to do it all over again, here are 15 lessons we learned from Rory Gilmore.

15 Nurture a close relationship with your mother

Look, not everyone's mother was a teen mom, and not everyone's mother is as big a fan of pop culture and junk food. However, even if your mom is nothing like Lorelai Gilmore, there's something to be said for the kind of relationship they had. And yes, some of the reason behind it was that they essentially grew up together, battling from the bottom when they were living in a shed on the Independence Inn's property with only each other. A lot of it, though, has to do with attitude. Even though they get into arguments from time to time, at the end of the day, Rory truly respects and admires her mother, and that's something we should all be nurturing. Even when you're a strong, independent adult, sometimes you just want your mom's opinion or advice, or even just a kind word - that's what moms are for. So, take a page from Rory's book and don't take your mom for granted.

14 Don't put men before your dreams

Over the seasons, Rory Gilmore dated several men from all walks of life. From the high school sweetheart to the bad boy to the trust fund kid, she pretty much covered all the bases. Each relationship was different, and illuminated different parts of her life and personality, but they all had one thing in common - they came second to her career aspirations, period. When Jess shows up at Yale and begs her to run away with him, even though it's obvious there are still sparks there, she turns him down. When Logan does something similar, proposing and asking her to move to California with him, she turns him down as well because she's determined to focus on her career, and she doesn't want to tag along and put that on the backburner for some guy. Rory may have had her relationship issues, but she taught us that you shouldn't feel bad about putting love on hold in order to pursue your dreams.

13 Smart girls are cool too

One of the main facets of Rory's personality was her love of books and learning. Sure, she had a brief detour when she dropped out of university, but for the most part she absolutely loved everything about school. In a world where most of the female characters on television were popular girls, where the nerdy characters were often mocked or shown as the less than desirable sidekicks, Rory Gilmore proved that smart was sexy. Let's face it - not every woman is the bubble cheerleader type, but that's the majority of what television was showing. So, Rory Gilmore proved that it's not nerdy or uncool to be focused on school and academics - she showed that smart girls could be cool and sassy and attractive too. No one is saying you need to pursue the exact same path she did, but it's a useful lesson that sometimes you just have to march to the beat of your own drum and be okay with it.

12 It's okay to ask for help

Both Rory and Lorelai were constantly showing how they were strong women who made things happen in their own lives. However, sometimes when you're faced with a big challenge and you're just totally overwhelmed and don't know how you're going to cope, you need to ask for help. That doesn't make you weak or less independent - it just makes you human. There were times when Rory was facing drama and she leaned on her friends or family for advice and reassurance, and it didn't mean she was any less capable of handling things on her own - it just meant she knew that sometimes you need to ask for help. Whether you just hit a deer on your way to a big exam or you're having a crisis about the direction your entire life is going in, sometimes, you just need to push aside the thought that you have to do everything by yourself and just ask for a little help.

11 Mistakes happen - it's all about how you bounce back

Okay, let's just get one thing straight - if you never make a mistake in your entire life, chances are, it's because you're just not living. Everyone makes mistakes - it's a simple fact of life. That's pretty much expected. The important thing about those situations is how you bounce back, not how long you dwell on your stupid mistake and what it might have cost you. I mean, who could forget Rory's giant freak-out and list of mistake after mistake, when she drops out of Yale and stops pursuing her career and stops talking to her mother and basically just allows everything she cherishes to slip through her fingers while she pursues a life she never wanted in the DAR. It would have been easy to assume you made too many mistakes that you could never recover from, but instead, she eventually realizes she's messed up and starts working hard to correct all the things she messed up - and she does.

10 Women can do anything

Okay, this one is kind of moreso something that Lorelai instilled in Rory, but it's a lesson nonetheless. Lorelai always made sure that Rory knew the whole world was open to her, that she could achieve anything she wanted if she worked hard enough - so that's exactly how Rory lived her life. She didn't assume she couldn't get into an Ivy League school because she came from a small town, and she didn't assume that she could never make the staff of a school newspaper because she was a new girl, or because she was just a small fish in a big university pond. Instead, she just focused and worked hard and eventually achieved whatever she was working towards because, well, she believed she could. It also doesn't hurt that she had an endless list of strong women who were business owners and independent lady bosses to look up to.

9 Read voraciously

Her love of books was one of Rory's most iconic character traits. She was basically always seen with some kind of a book or text nearby, and she talked passionately about everything from literary classics to non-fiction works and bestsellers. She absolutely loved reading with a passion. For many of us, life gets so busy, and even if we genuinely enjoy reading, we neglect our 'to be read' list because we just can't find time for it. That's where we need to learn a lesson from Rory Gilmore. When it comes to reading, you just need to carve out time in your life because it can have such a huge impact. From non-fiction books that help teach you new things to popular fiction books that help you relax and de-stress after a long day, books can have a tremendous impact on your life - so make time to read like Rory did.

8 Eat whatever you want

Okay, from a health perspective, you probably shouldn't live on a diet of pop tarts and pizza and diner food like Rory and Lorelai did. However, Rory's relationship with food was something we could all learn a little bit from. Many women get influenced by the media's portrayal of what an acceptable diet is, and feel too guilty or indulgent if they want to have dessert after a meal, or if they want to chow down on a burger instead of a salad. Take a page from Rory's book and just eat what you want and don't feel the need to apologize for it. Yes, eating healthy food is great for your body and mind and you should definitely strive to incorporate more greens and fruits and healthy components into your diet. However, if you want a pizza after a long week, just have the darn pizza. Sometimes it's exactly what you need.

7 Sometimes, you just have to wallow

When Rory was experiencing her first ever break-up with her first ever boyfriend, Lorelai gave her some advice - wallow. Rory tried to just power through her feelings of sadness by focusing on something else, but Lorelai advised her to put on those pajamas, stay in bed, eat junk food, watch sad movies and cry and don't bother putting on make-up or looking cute. Just wallow. Eventually, she decided to follow her mom's advice and it worked a lot better than her previous attempts to bury her feelings by focusing on other things. Even if you don't have a break-up to deal with, we all have moments in our lives when we just need to wallow. Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed, maybe you're feeling sad about your love life or career or friendship, whatever the reason, sometimes you just need to take a break and wallow instead of trying to ignore your feelings.

6 Being an introvert is okay

It's the same as the popular girl/smart girl issue in the media. On countless shows and in countless movies, it's always the outgoing, extroverted characters who get all the attention, while the introverts are overlooked. And when you're an introvert, trying to force yourself to be a more extroverted personality can be downright exhausting. Rory went through the struggle way back in season 2, when she was questioned for her preference to just read and listen to music at lunch rather than socializing with classmates. It wasn't because she was antisocial - it was just because, as an introvert, she valued having that time mid-day to recharge her batteries. It taught us all that, if you're an introvert, that's totally okay. While most of us aren't eating lunch at a school cafeteria, if you need to go for a coffee break solo during your workday, or put on headphones at your desk from time to time, that's totally okay.

5 Don't let criticism destroy you

Now, constructive criticism is a useful part of life, and you should be able to hear it without going off and crying. However, there are times when you have to let criticism roll off your back and just ignore it if it's something you can't change, or if it's criticism that's asking you to change something that's really important to you. Just take Rory's Mitchum Huntzberger storyline, for example. She's gotten nothing but praise for her writing for years, and all of a sudden someone who's a big deal in her industry tells her she just doesn't have what it takes. Now, if he had given her a few areas to improve, something more constructive, that would have been a different story. To completely give up on your dream because of the criticism of one guy, though, would be insane. Rory realizes that in time, and pursues her career with a new intensity, disregarding his negative feedback. It just proves that sometimes you have to take criticism with a grain of salt and not let it get you down forever.

4 Follow your passion

In the second episode of the show, Rory tells Headmaster Charlton that she would like to be an overseas correspondent like Christiane Amanpour and pursue a career in journalism. She has a few detours along the way, but for the most part, she takes steps that bring her closer to that goal, such as being on the school newspaper (both in high school and at university), and getting involved in a political campaign trail. There are moments she finds frustrating, and troubles along the way, but she continues to work hard because it's her passion. The lesson we can learn from Rory's journalism career is that, once you know what you really want to do, you just need to work as hard as you can to move closer to that passion. Sometimes, things might not turn out the way you expect it, but sometimes you'll find yourself with an opportunity seemingly out of nowhere because of something you did that you figured would never lead anywhere.

3 A little lip gloss goes a long way

Back when Rory's just a teen about to go on an impromptu date with Dean, Lorelai tells her to put on some lip gloss and “wear your hair down and your attitude high.” It has nothing to do with actual lip gloss - Rory looks gorgeous as is. It's about confidence. We'd all like to be uber confident creatures all the time, but the reality is that sometimes you just feel a bit uncertain or nervous about a situation. In times like that, sometimes all it takes to get you feeling great again is to put on a favourite shade of lipstick or a dress that makes you feel like a boss in order to channel your confident inner badass. Whether you're nervous about a date, like Rory was, a job interview, or some other big life event, getting a little boost of confidence from seemingly trivial things is nothing to be ashamed of.

2 Finding the right guy is hard

Rory Gilmore was smart, gorgeous, had endless opportunities, and a strong support system. Despite all that, she struggled to find the right guy, just like most people. She dates a bad boy at a time when he's not really ready to be dated, and later turns him down when he comes back to profess his love because she's not ready. She breaks up with her high school sweetheart because it's comfortable rather than passionate, and ends up going back to him to cheat once he's married. And then let's not forget Logan, the guy that brings out her sense of spontaneity but also brought out her privilege and snobbery at times. Rory Gilmore had her fair share of relationship drama, and the lesson we can learn is that sometimes, finding the right guy is hard. You may be lucky enough to find him early in life, but for many people, it takes years of kissing frogs before you find your prince.

1 Coffee is a solution to just about everything

It's no secret that both Rory and Lorelai were huge, huge coffee drinkers. And while no one is saying you need to be guzzling two pots of coffee a day until you're a jittery mess, there are a lot of situations where it can be exactly the solution you need. It helps most of us wake up in the morning, yes. However, it can also give you a boost of energy before an important meeting or presentation. Taking a little coffee break to relax in the midst of a hectic day can be the perfect self-care solution. It can be a way to catch up with friends without having to go crazy indulging in a big meal. To put it simply, coffee can solve a lot of problems - so the next time you're facing something tough, take a moment to have a cup of coffee and mull over things a little bit. You may get some new perspective, you may get a little bit of calm or an energy boost, and Rory Gilmore would definitely approve.