15 Times Rihanna Was All Of Us
Riri swigging daintily from her hip flask at the Grammy awards show that Beyonce didn't win is the picture of our reaction, too. Not just to Beyonce's mind-bendingly important Lemonade album blatantly being passed over (a fact even acknowledged by Adele in her acceptance speech), but as a reaction to the world in general right now. Yep, it seems like it's crazy to stay sane in the world of 2017 and we're thinking Ri's rhinestone hip flask is the classiest and sanest reaction to that we've seen so far. We NEED one, pronto. But the Grammys wasn't the first time that Ri has wowed us with her ability to act like our cultural weathervane. When the wind of change is blowing, we look to Ri to sum up our reaction to the times or at least reflect it back to us in her music. This cool girl from the Caribbean is completely a woman of the people. So much so that it's almost uncanny how many times Ri has been right on with her reactions, and it's getting weird now. One of the reasons we love her so much, more than her music and her fashion, is her freakish ability to say (or do) what everyone is thinking. Ri saunters through her high-powered life, wine glass in hand, and never seems to lose touch with her roots or DGAF attitude. All we know is, we're watching what Rihanna's doing, because nine times out of ten, we're thinking Riri is us.
15 The internet's obsession with Ri's Grammys hip flask
via giphy.com
The Grammys are a dry affair, meaning that there's no alcohol served during the ceremony. They can also be dry in other senses of the word. But when Beyonce's Lemonade failed to win Album of the Year, we needed a shot of something strong to get over it, just like Riri. The disbelief in the room was (literally) palpable, as the gracious winner Adele acknowledged the oversight in her acceptance speech. But nothing could take away from the blatant anti-black bias of the awards, which rarely go to a non-white artist, despite the evident talent and success of non-white artists. We were so Riri when she openly flouted the rules by sneaking in her own hip flask. The internet has erupted into a sea of memes celebrating the deliciousness of the star defiantly sipping from the glittery flask, encrusted with rhinestones. As ever, Riri was doing it her way and it has the internet relating HARD.
14 BBHMM
We were equal parts bemused by and BFFs with Riri in this incredible music video. Like Riri, we were caught in the financial downturn like everyone else, and yes, we could identify with wanting that money. We enjoyed the assault on the millionaire lifestyle and simultaneous enjoyment of it. Because let's be honest, we have all Instagrammed the shiz out of our latte's only to cry into them when we realize they cost a not insignificant percentage of our daily expendable. We enjoy creating our latest Snapchat, but at the same time we know that this is the edited version of our lives; the one with bunny ears and flower halos. We're as confused as anyone about the relationship between our embodied and virtual selves. And we feel like Riri smoking illegal substances while wearing a lace housecap is the expression of our private lives too. Like Riri targeting the luxury lifestyle in a pretty aggressive, sinister way, we are also running after that perfection all the time. But more as the assailant in the scenario than the privileged girl who Ri ties up in the end.
13 DGAF face
We heart Riri's DGAF. And we REALLY want to play with Ri and Cara Delevigne. Because when these girls get together, the combined force of their DGAF ways tears a hole in the space-time continuum. Ri is the master of the DGAF face, whether it be during the Grammys, in her videos or when she's papped by the press outside the club wearing one or other of her audacious outfits. It's her best accessory, because the DGAF face is the trump card that lets Rihanna rise above the trivial concerns of the gossip-mongers and the haters, and even social stereotypes and the glass ceiling. Riri leaves inequality for women of color in her wake as she rocks it in the charts and brings out another sellout line of Fenty x Puma clothing. From dying her hair bright red to blue and black lipsticks, Riri is beautiful enough that she's a trendsetter, and when you set the trends, it really doesn't matter if you DGAF about following them. Long live the DGAFace.
12 Work work work work work
Some critics called Rihanna's "Work" track "post language" because meaning starts to break down due to the number of times Ri repeats the word. But we relate to this song in more ways than one, because we're sweating our booty off running around trying to be perfect, take care of the kids, build our business empires, and look fly while doing it. The financial depression has everyone sweating it out: whether like Ri's fairy godfather Jay Z and ex-President Obama you call it hustling, nobody is having an easy ride at the moment, contrary to what we're all trying to make ourselves believe on social media. In an age in which authenticity is all and Americans work for very few days off a year, the repetitious "work" is the anthem of our lives right now. And we needed Ri to spice up that concept, and give us a way to twerk our way through the tough stuff, and you know, make it work.
11 Wearing your pajamas out
You might joke about wearing your robe and PJs outside the front door, but RiRi actually did it. Plus, you aren't followed by paps everywhere you go (unless you are), but either way, make like Bad Gal Riri and rock that robe in public - it's 2017! Just make sure they're cute, like Ri's - the "I woke up like this" look is paradoxically NOT about wandering out of the front door after waking up without so much as a hairbrush's help. Unless you really are perfection when you wake up or own your own compound. The Just Woke Up Like This is carefully crafted ease, like no makeup makeup and bedhead hair. It is definitely not a substitute for showering like a person. If you ARE followed by paparazzi everywhere you go, so much the better, because you will be able to play down more easily amongst all the hype and glamor that your life already has in abundance. Make sure you rock the look with acres of attitude and a nonchalant air.
10 The Drake saga
This is so our love lives. Less than the epic love story featuring our prince galloping in on a white stallion or anything resembling the Twilight series, our love lives are a series of comic mis-timings, misunderstandings and what ifs. During the course of the epic Drake nomance, the non-couple have been dating on and off for about as long as Ross and Rachel from Friends. Add to that Drake's romance with J-Lo and Riri's pash for Chris Brown and you've got a recipe for the relationship that is more perfect because it isn't official. We know how exciting it can be to keep a relationship in the exciting early stages forever, getting drunk on the puppy love that accompanies the initial romance. And we also know all about the indecision of being into someone and yet not ready to plunge into relationship territory. The Drake-Ri romance is classic modern coupledom: fun, flirty, and non-committal.
9 DGAFing about being in Taylor's Squad
That time Riri didn't care about being in Taylor Swift's squad. With all the squadding that's been going on in celeb and normal people circles over the past couple of years, we're all for being independent people again. Thinking longingly back to a time when you could have goals without sharing them with your entire squad, and you could have friends without talking about them like you met them all on the football team. Riri has said: "I don't think I would [join Taylor on stage]," RiRi told NME magazine. "I just don't think it makes sense. I don't think our brands are the same: I don't think they match, I don't think our audiences are the same. In my mind, she's a role model; I'm not." Some have made out that Riri is snubbing Taylor's squad because of her closeness with Tay-Tay's arch nemesis Katy Perry. But the truth is that they DO have very different brands, and not being the same is what has made them both so successful. Squad goals are so try-hard - we're loving Riri's DGAF attitude to them. Because isn't there something to be said for being comfortable with being your own person, rather than catching new and shiny squad members like the latest Pokemon Go?
8 An inflatable crown
Just like we totally felt understood when Lorde brought out "Royals", we could completely relate to Riri's inflatable crown-wearing moment. The trivialisation of ultimate power? Hello, 2017. In her iconic way, Riri managed to reflect our frustration with the power balance, and our dissatisfaction with the crazy, clownish world of pretenders that not only lead us but seem to be all around us most of the time these days. Which is why Ri's DGAF way of life gives US life: we need to respond to the madness of modern life and all its inequalities with more than the straight-mouth smiley. We need a way of life that lets us ride out the storm, AND continue to enjoy ourselves. Riri is that entertainer. And never was she more a woman of the people, than when she rocked that inflatable crown like every Disney princess wannabe out there (yes you)! As Riri proves, you don't have to be a princess to be a queen.
7 Her Titanic moment
Another inflatable, this time an inflatable boat which capsized, leaving Ri stranded. We totally related to having our smug, sunshine perfection overturned by a splash of seawater. Having your styled beach locks ruined by actual salt spray is almost as tragic as Leonardo Di Caprio floating off into oblivion, and not quite as tragic as the legions of refugees who have put their faith in less forgiving oceans than the Caribbean this winter. As ever Ri was 100% topical. But don't worry, ain't nothing gonna break her stride. It wasn't long before Ri was back to sipping champagne out of her rhinestone-encrusted glass, lazing on a rather bigger boat (we're talking luxury yacht), and gazing out at the crystal clear ocean. The songstress was living it up in her home of Barbados, keeping the Caribbean dream alive when she hopped aboard the dingy that got overturned during all the fun. But Ri's Caribbean lifestyle would make a Victoria's Secret angel jealous, and we're especially in awe of her ability to accessorize the beach vaycay with oodles of fierce pirate style. Riri's moment in the water proves adorably that even the queen is human, and can be rudely ousted from her throne on occasion.
6 Fashion before comfort, French athlete before fashion
We loved the fact that Ri chose a date with a hot French athlete over attending the CFDA Fashion Awards. As already discussed, she's a trendsetter, and she'll pick up the awards whether or not she's there in person. We want her to teach us her ways, and this was a masterclass in doing what you want. Riri attended Coppelia Restaurant in Soho, New York (since you asked), with the handsome Karim Benzema. Looking stunning with a red do and jeans, the star enjoyed a relaxed dinner, rather than the rigamarole of the awards show. As we know, those aren't Riri's favorite anyway. We totally identify with having other plans than what we're "supposed" to be doing, and what we enjoy so much is that Ri not only puts those plans into action, they involve hot French soccer players. We may have heard no more about romance between the pair, but Ri won our hearts with this move anyway.
5 Wine comes with
There's nothing we relate to more about Ri than her penchant for wine-to-go. When it comes to glassware, only suckers leave it from whence it came. Drinking receptacles are best kept on one's person at all times. Whether you may be at a party or transitioning between parties, or the party is long since over, keeping your cup in hand is a tradition enshrined in the fabric of America by the Statue of Liberty and Riri. So we're in good company. Nothing feels more decadent than bringing your wine glass with you when you're soaking in a bubble bath or makes a journey more pleasant than drinking on that journey. Bringing your glass with means you'll never be caught glassless next time the waiter brings the champagne bottle around. Staying hydrated is the mantra of the moment, and nobody puts that into practice better than Riri, who has her vocals to take care of.
4 When she bravely risked the grate
We've all been there. You're barely able to control your stilettos on optimum surfaces, let alone the death trap that is a many-hoed subway grate. And when you're spending as much as Ri on dem shoes, you are going to want to make sure they stay shiny. Marilyn Monroe made history when she conquered the subway grate, and every woman can relate to its many challenges. Surely nothing, not even the current administration can strike such terror into the heart of a woman than walking over a subway grate in high heels. Despite some pretty committed stiletto action going on (you go, girl), Ri looks visibly shaken by her ordeal. Focusing with the undivided attention of a bird of prey as she balances vertiginously on the tightrope between the holes of death, Riri embodied every woman who has ever stepped out in great heels, only to be beset by the hellish subway grate.
3 When she put Perez Hilton on a leash
It's not just women who will relate to wanting to put Perez Hilton on a leash. The celebrity gossip and general stirrer has ruffled a few feathers in his time and built a career out of being that telltale guy who TALKS. There are probably a few celebs too who would like Perez leashed to the garden fence, safely out of reach of press attention. This loud-mouthed and larger than life celebrity definitely plays the tattletale role well. So when Riri got Perez his very own leash as part of her S&M video, it was the perfect rejoinder. Obviously, Perez was in on the joke (he's only ever wanted to be included in the celeb world anyway). Everyone's dreams were realized. Hilarious and kinky at the same time, only Riri would be able to fulfill our wildest Perez dreams like this. As she would say, she's "perfectly good" at being bad, and it's great.
2 Justifying her latest tattoo
You know when you want to get another tattoo for no real reason other than that you're addicted, and you start rehearsing a back story? Or those people who love to tell the stories behind their tattoos way after anyone else is listening? Well, Ri has her fair share of tattoos, and she justified that sexy Egyptian goddess on her chest by dedicating it to her late grandmother. We have to say that this is an amazing tattoo that Ri can totally pull off, and WOW what a tribute. But our grandmothers would have a heart attack if they saw this. Maybe that says more about Ri's bodaciousness than it does about the tat tho. So now we're musing, who to dedicate the latest ink adventure to? Nothing is more personally meaningful than dedicating your permanent body decs to your nearest and dearest, just steer clear of getting your boyf's name.
1 Rihanna BFF relationship with Katy Perry
We heart the BFF love going on between these two bad gals. Even though it appears these buds have had their ups and downs, Riri and Katy have always been one of our fave power friendships in the music biz. Unlike Taylor Swift, these ladies do share a brand in that they both bring a lot of DGAF attitude to everything they do, whether that be an ill-advised marriage to Russell Brand or a wacky hair color. We love being bad with our besties too - there's nothing better than someone else to share your naughty secrets and get up to no good with. These ladies are definitely lionesses (hear them roar) and we're totally feeling their fierce power friendship. You just know that they behave exactly the same at the latest awards show as they would if they were sitting next to each other in class. Well, maybe bar the hit flask.