16 Times Scott Disick Owned The Kardashians

For those of us who can't even stand the Kardashian clan, we can all agree that Scott Disick is a hero in our eyes when he shuts them down. He calls them out on their BS by making witty and sarcastic comebacks that they can't ever seem to measure up to. When we were first introduced to Scott, he was portrayed as the D-bag of the show and as an inadequate father. Even if that is true, we still love him for his overtly pompous attitude and giving zero fu*** about what anyone else thinks of him. No matter how many confrontations he gets into with the Kardashian family, we somehow always want to take his side simply because he is our Lord Disick.

For those who normally find the Kardashians annoying, we can all at least agree that Scott is probably the only member of that family worth tuning into. No matter how many times he philanders with 18-year-old models, ignores his responsibilities as a parent, or pisses off the Kardashian clan, we still love him for putting them all in their place. There is simply nothing more glorious than watching the black sheep stick up for themselves. Funniest part is, since his split with Kourtney, he's still just getting paid for appearances and riding the wave.

16 His Relationship to #Murrica

When we first met Scott, he was portrayed as the biggest douche to ever walk the earth. What he said and did were nothing short of disrespectful to the Kardashian clan (though most of us can't help but lack a lot of respect for that family anyway). With all the petty nonsense of brainless dialect that goes on between the sisters, it is no wonder that the audience looks for a new voice. That voice is none other than someone who is willing to call the Kardashians out on their bulls***. This is what makes us more entertaining and likeable in our eyes as the audience of this mind numbing guilty pleasure of a show. In fact, it is uncertain if the show would be able to maintain its popular ratings if Scott Disick just leaves the show. Long live his reign.

15 When He Called Out Kris Jenner

Kris Jenner has always known how to whore her own children (and grandchildren) out for more dough in the collective bank account for the Kardashian estate. She basks in the public eye and loves to name drop influential people as if their integrity will rub off on her. This time around, she was so vain that when she was asked about the best day of her year, she neglected to even remember the birth of her granddaughter. Instead her answer was, "I think my favorite day of this last year was when Oprah came over." No wonder that was her favorite day. When Oprah interviews you, it must mean that you are legitimized as a respectable public figure… right? Right? RIGHT? Scott shut down her glory train by mentioning her favorite day was indeed not the day her first granddaughter was born. Oh yeah, and he called her a heartless wench. She had this one coming.

14 When He Gave Zero F**** About Kris's Opinion On His Relationship

When meeting the family back in the earlier seasons of the Kardashians, everyone was just so young and fresh-faced. Kris Jenner had to pry and probe her eldest daughter's new squeeze as much as she could. Because, you know that is what mothers do (*cough* that is what psycho mothers do). Have you ever dated a guy who was 2-3 years younger than you? If you did, did your mother call him out on it as if it were entirely his fault as something he did wrong? Well, Kris had no problem pointing that out. Way to give a first impression. She probably thought that it would make him think about dumping Kourtney so that she could find someone more suitable. Instead, he flipped it around on her. To add insult to injury, this was the same time that Kendall and Kylie were pre-pubescent.

13 Witty Comeback to Bruce Jenner

Ahh, remember the days when Caitlin Jenner was Bruce Jenner? Those were the wonder years when he was the level-headed dad admits a sea of raging bitchy estrogen. Though those days are gone, we miss his delegating in conflicts. This one in particular needed to happen because Scott really was being a neglectful douche during Kourtney's pregnancy with their first son Mason. Rather than helping out and tending her needs, he would rather lounge around and no absolutely nothing. No amount of women barking orders at him was going to make him budge. When Bruce tried to have a heart to heart admitting that there was no "handling" Kourtney, Scott just begged to differ. And boy, was he right.

12 Everyday Conversation With Kourtney

The Kardashians get into the most vapid, pointless conversations. Lucky for us, all we have to do is turn off the TV and not have to listen to it anymore. Unfortunately for Scott, he has to endure the nails on the chalkboard whether he likes it or not. He has a bullet list of all the subjects of the conversation he is least interested in and can spout it out on command. That is quite impressive. Since he lives with Kourtney, he is pretty much treated like one of her sisters when she has a brilliant idea to do something stupid. Rather than zoning out, he uses the art of sarcasm to put her in her place. It works about half the time. The other half of the time, he just has to sit through it.

11 When He Declared That His Regal Status

If there has ever been a privileged, entitled, douchey man child that has ever walked the earth, it is none other than Lord Disick. Rather than trying to hide it and come off as a respectable human being, he wears his entitlement as a badge of honor with his self-named title, "Lord Disick." Lord Disick has to do everything big and beyond 99% of the population's means. How did he earn his wealth, you ask? Well, for the first twenty something years of his life, he was the only child to wealthy parents. Then, he became a regular on Keeping Up With the Kardashians as Kourtney's sometimes-absentee baby daddy. After that, the rest is all history. Long live Lord Disick. Don't ever ask him to do something that only a peasant (like us) would do.

10 When He Pointed Out The Kardashian's Best Assets

Kim wants to have a flat ass? On what planet is she getting these bizarre signals to deplete the golden ticket that made her who she is in the first place? Kim is always jumping on the latest diet bandwagon and conscious about her weight. After all, she never really fit the Hollywood idea, which is what made her famous in the first place. Her a** has always been big enough to have its own zip code and for her to lose it would take take away not only her mojo, but the family's meal ticket. Good thing Scott was there to knock some sense into her. Without him, she would have booked the next appointment to the plastic surgeon and liposuctioned all that orange fat out of her butt. There would probably be a whole new E! Special about it: Kim Kardashian Goes Under the Knife To Decrease the Size of Her A**. Not a pretty picture, but reality TV gold.

9 Describing Kim As She Is

Kim is a fashion icon. Say what you will about what she is like as a person or how big of a wh*** she is for reality TV, she is on the cover of every magazine and everyone knows who she is. Whether we like it or not, the Kardashians are going to go down as one of the biggest staples in pop culture history. And guess what? They don't even have to be that interesting to accomplish that. Scott said it what the rest of us are thinking every time we see Kim make a cameo appearance on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Her dead eye stare and that high-pitched monotone voice that speaks of nothing beyond the means of superficiality labels her indeed a boring person. Kudos to Scott for being the only one with the balls to point it out.

8 Explaining The Source Of Everyone's Fame

That whole family owes Kim homage on a regular basis. They will never forget that without her, there would be no Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Period. While Khloe prided herself on pointing out the little things, like a family vacation, Scott looked at the bigger picture. Sure, they will act all chipper and upbeat every time something beneficial happens, but they wouldn't even have careers if it wasn't for their sister who is famous for having a big a**. Plus, even without all that fame from the reality show, it is not like they were ever the type of family that could not afford a vacation. They were never poor or even middle class, to begin with. Scott gave a stark reminder that their "careers" are owed 100% to KimYe.

7 On the Longevity of Kim's Marriage

Kim has been through multiple marriages before her fairytale wedding to Kanye West. In fact, her entire 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries was thoroughly documented on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Therefore, it is no wonder her marriage didn't last. Much to everyone's dismay, there was trouble in paradise shortly thereafter. Surprise, surprise. After finding out that Kim and Kris were in a fight about… probably something trivial, he had to throw sarcasm in there. When you are married for only a few weeks, that is supposed to be the honeymoon period where it is all sunshine and rainbows. Maybe Scott's sense of humor put a jinx on that marriage. Oh well, everything happens for a reason.

6 When Kim Tried To Act Tough

It always seems like Kim likes to give off a perfectly polished image of someone who is held up high on her throne of the reality TV kingdom. She could never be compared to a commoner, much less someone from such a "peasant" background (aka the ghetto). Just as another attempt to get a rise out of one of the Kardashian family members, Scott couldn't help but notice that she was looking gansta while driving. Maybe the bass was too high or her demeanor was "don't fuck with me." Either way, Scott had to point out that she was looking like a hood bitch. Or maybe it was that outdated, early '00s name bling hanging from her neck. Whatever the reason, he didn't feel very masculine sitting next to her in the passenger seat.

5 His Adjustment to Being in a Larger Family

After growing up as an only child his entire life, it must have been overwhelming AF for Scott to become adjusted to the large Kardashian clan. True, Kris Jenner has been through more than one marriage resulting in two different broods of kids. She has four kids (Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and Rob) from her late ex-husband Robert Kardashian and two kids (Kendall and Kylie) from her second husband Caitlin (Bruce) Jenner. Caitlin also has four other kids from two previous marriages. Even for someone who comes from a family of three, that can still be overwhelming. Especially when you have so many type-A women in the same family all at once. At least he knows what he is signing up for.

4 When Kourtney Found Out Her R-Rated Tape Might Get Leaked

The Kardashian's fame all roots back to the origin of Kim releasing a sex tape with then boyfriend Ray J. Though she can act all contrite over the fact, deep down she probably is over the moon that it happened. In fact, there are conspiracies that assert that the whole thing was planned. However, when Kourtney's sex tape got leaked, the public didn't get the pleasure in seeing it the way Kim's was broadcasted. Why? Because Kourtney was underage at the time of the filming. This would have made her just as if not more famous than Kim. In a way, she was at a disadvantage. Scott knew this as much as she cried, hemmed and hawed over the potential leak of the sex tape. Instead, he just provided fake words of comfort in reminding her that her boobs were smaller at the time and her current ones are fake. What a supportive boyfriend, that Scott.

3 When He Texted a Sick Joke to Kourtney

Scott has alluded multiple times that he has willingly cut off his own penis and put it in Kourtney's purse. Which is true. In order to have a relationship with one of the Kardashian sisters, you essentially have to become their bi***. Living such a cushy life does come at a price because you pretty much have to do whatever they say and take direct orders from the matriarch herself. That doesn't mean that you can't poke fun at your own fate. When Scott texted a knock-knock joke about his penis knocking on Kourtney's back door, he was either initiating a night of anal sex or his long lost penis wanting to come back home. Or maybe both. Either way, he made his sacrifices willingly.

2 The Sacrifices He Has Made for the Kardashian Family

Scott has been emasculated time and time again on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Though he made this particular confession on the day of Kim and Kris Humphries' wedding, he has never walked down the aisle with Kourtney. Smart move if you ask me… or maybe not such a smart move? On one hand, he would be stuck having to deal with Kourtney in monogamy with no escape to fool around with young fresh-faced models. On the other hand, he would be entitled to a large sum of money in the event that Kourtney would divorce him (or he would leave her). Either way, it takes a real man to admit that he has had to cut off his own penis in order to be part of the Kardashian family. The things we do for love.

1 Shocked By Bizarre Antics

The Kardashian klan is very open. There is little room for secrets in that household since every embarrassing act is a chance at another gold mine for reality TV stardom and riches. As much as a smart-ass as Scott is, he choses not to partake in the bizarre antics of the Kardashians. There was one incident where he catches Kourtney and Khloe shaving each other's cooches in the kitchen for all cameras (and the world to see). As he was walking in to get a bottle for Mason, he just gives them a disapproving look and walks away. The next thing he knows, he finds anal beads in the stove. Anal beads? The devices you stick up your a** only to place it in where people eat? Now that is just disgusting.