18 Predictions For This Season Of The Bachelor
Get ready ladies and gentlemen, it's almost Bachelor season. What will happen on Nick Viall's season of The Bachelor? Well, we already kind of know just about everything that will happen. If you've seen enough seasons of The Bachelor, you know that quite a few things happen season, after season, after season. We keep coming back for more, even though we already know the basic line up. Yes, we already know what kind of drama will ensue when Nick goes on the four hometown dates, but we'll still watch because we're addicted. We're but mere mortals and we live for rose ceremonies, y'all!
The characters will change this season but the gist of the game is still the same. With a bunch of girls vying for Nick's heart (not to mention a Neil Lane diamond ring), the stakes are high. There will, of course, be drama. We can be guaranteed that there will be a crazy villain - what's up Olivia and Chad? There will also be the contestant who approaches the bachelor about said villain. Chris Harrison will always dub one of the rose ceremonies as the most dramatic in history. That always happens. It's practically scripted. (Wait, is it scripted?) We all know what's going to happen on this season of The Bachelor.
Below are 18 things that will 100% go down on Nick's season of The Bachelor, and the season after that, and the season after that. Yes, there will be sequins dresses, hair extensions and fake eyelashes, as well as the 18 items below. January 2nd can't get here soon enough!
15 Awkward Shots Of The Bachelor's Body
The bachelors all usually have amazing bodies. In fact, all of the contestants on the show also have amazing bodies. It's like an amazing body convention that we're watching on television.
The thing about the bachelor's body is that the camera also pans on it for an extreme awkward amount of time. We're destined to see Nick take his shirt off (most likely to cliff dive during a low-key date) and the camera will focus on his ripped body. Yeah, Nick's body is ripped, but why are we pausing there for this long? Keep the camera moving, buddy.
You're also guaranteed a few shots of Nick getting ready. He'll be wearing a towel and some voiceover will be talking about how badly he wants to fall in love. We'll probably see him in a towel again before the finale rose ceremony, only this time the voiceover will be about how torn he is. Whatever the case, Nick better be doing his crunches because his abs are about to be on ABC primetime for a weird amount of time.
14 The Most Nonexistent, Random Jobs
Most of the contestants have normal jobs. Alright, well, normal is a stretch since most of the girls will probably be models, or Instagram stars, or something of that nature. There will still definitely be a nurse, a teacher and a lawyer thrown into the mix. Those jobs are what most of America would consider a normal job. However, to balance out the normalcy of the teachers and lawyers, there will be people with jobs that aren't real at all. Remember the chicken enthusiast from Ben's season? How about the hipster from JoJo's season? Yes, his job was being a hipster. That's not real! It doesn't pay you money!
We can actually confirm that this will happen on Nick's season since the girl's bios have been released. One of the contestants is an aspiring dolphin trainer. While being a dolphin trainer is a real job, and a cool one at that, aspiring to be a dolphin trainer isn't really a job. What is she doing to pay her rent now? How does she make ends meet with her aspiring dolphin trainer job? The world may never know.
13 Someone Takes Advantage Of The Open Bar
Someone will get too drunk on the first night. On JoJo's season of The Bachelorette, it was pretty obvious that all the men were toasted during the first night. Will every single contestant on Nick's season get drunk the first night? We can dare to dream, but probably not. It's usually only one contestant who makes a fool of herself, doing things she wouldn't normally do like dancing or coming on too strong.
We can't really fault the ladies for drinking too much on the first night. They are in a room with dozens of other equally beautiful and wonderful women, who are all trying to win the heart of one man. The situation is awkward, to say the very least. To top it off, it's being taped for television. Yep, it's a situation that induces extreme levels of anxiety and insecurity. We get it, and we totally feel for the drunk girl. Heck, if we were on the show, we'd probably knock back a few too many glasses of champagne too.
12 The First Impression Overachiever
There's always one.
In order to stand out from the crowd, the girls all try their best to make their entrance memorable. Sometimes it includes a quirky anecdote, other times it's a goofy gift. Then, there are always the ones that go above and beyond and sometimes, it actually works out to their advantage. JoJo jumped out of the lime wears a unicorn mask. Uh, JoJo is smokin' hot, so we're not sure why she decide to cover up her beautiful face, but she did. Well, girlfriend made it to the final two and then became the bachelorette. It seems like the unicorn mask worked out for her.
When JoJo was the bachelorette, Luke showed up with a “unicorn,” aka a horse wearing a unicorn horn. He made it to the final four. Those are, of course, the success stories. Some other contestants go above and beyond, only to get cut the first night. They are forever the weirdoes who jumped out of a helicopter while hula hooping and playing the guitar, only to go home right after. Ouch.
11 Animals, So Many Animals
Let's talk about The Bachelor franchise's obsession with animals. They looooove animals. Whether it's on The Bachelor, The Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise, you're guaranteed some weird moments with animals.
In Ben's season, there was group date during which the girls fed pigs on the beach. The pigs started chasing the girls and the group date literally turned into a handful of scared girls in bikinis running from pigs. It was perhaps the least sexy date in Bachelor history.
There will also be horseback riding. That's a given. Oh, and if anyone owns a dog, that dog will make an appearance during the hometown date. The animals vary season to season, but The Bachelor never misses an opportunity to feature a four-legged friend.
10 “Can I Steal You For A Minute”
'Can I steal you for a minute?' is the polite way one girl will steal the bachelor from some one-on-one time with another girl… also known as c**k blocking. It will happen again and again throughout any given season.
Honestly, it's almost understandable in the first episode, since there are so many girls and so little time. Trying to make an impression amongst a bunch of beautiful, smart, kind women is difficult, especially with limited time. This usually results in the bachelor being treated like a tug-of-war rope during the first episode. It's not really fair, but it's more understandable that it is later in the season. As time progresses, there is usually enough time for everyone to get a piece of the bachelor pie. The later in the season, the more this move becomes something that the villain does. And, duh, there's always a villain.
9 Someone Goes To The Bachelor With Concerns
Yes! When this happens, it's always so, so good. It usually goes like this - Once the group is fed up with the villain, someone will go to the bachelor and warn him about the villain. The warning usually comes in the, "She acts a different towards everyone in the house," variety.
Most recently in JoJo's season of The Bachelorette, Chad was the villain. Both Alex and Evan went to JoJo with concerns about Chad's behavior. The cherry on top of this moment is that the villain always finds out that someone went to the bachelor/bachelorette about them. It may be because the bachelor sits down said villain and confronts her. Our favorite circumstance, though, is when the villain just so happens to be walking by as someone warns the bachelor about them. Ah, it's so good. How do the producers always have everyone exactly where they need them for maximum drama? We don't know, but we love to watch it.
The Athletic Challenges That Are An Excuse For Yoga Pants
Athletic challenges will happen and they will be degrading on multiple levels. It's just how the show goes. First of all, the women will all have to dress up for the challenge. Sometimes, this means that they will wear what they would wear to a yoga class. Other times, they are dressed in matching, skimpy outfits. Yes, like we said, degrading. Honestly, the show is so emotionally degrading, there is no need for this element, but we digress.
The women will then participate in an athletic challenge that will prove just how little they know about sports. Perhaps, one of them will know how to hold a ball, but that's it. ABC, we always cringe during these challenges.
8 The Past Comes Back To Haunt Someone
Drama, drama, drama! As if there wasn't enough drama on the show already, the outside world also supplies en extra bit of drama.
The past will come back to haunt at least one of the contestants, and it's usually in the form of an ex. On the most recent season of The Bachelorette, JoJo heard that Jordan Rodgers, who went on to win JoJo's heart, had cheated on his long-time girlfriend. Jordan denied these allegations, which is what the accused person always does. JoJo's other final contestant, Robby, had an ex claim that he dumped her to be on the show. See? Drama is everywhere in the world of The Bachelor!
In a way, it adds a bit of reality to the show, because these guys and girls have dated other people before being on national television. Who will have baggage with an ex coming back to haunt them this season? Only time will tell… but it will definitely happen.
7 The Most Elaborate Dates Known To Mankind
The Bachelor sure does set the bar high for dates. Like, really high.
The transportation varies from horseback, to a private jet, to a limo, to an antique car. They would never simply drive somewhere in a Kia Sportage. That is not a proper date transportation. The date is also much more than just a movie and dinner. They will be serenaded by a band, or jump off a cliff, or walk in a fashion show. There may be a European castle or a Jacuzzi in the middle of a snowy mountain. Oh, there will always be glasses and glasses of champagne. Dates are not low-key in the world of The Bachelor.
Our biggest question is what happens after the show ends? These kinds of dates don't exactly translate to the real world. Is that a letdown for the couple?
6 Someone's Not There For The Right Reasons
'Not there for the right reasons' is like a battle cry for The Bachelor. Not being there for the right reasons is the absolutely worst thing a contestant can do, but you can be assured that at least one contestant will 'not be there for the right reasons' every single season.
What constitutes not being there for the right reasons? Well, basically anyone who isn't there for true love. With the rise of social media, it's easier to see how more and more women can be there for the wrong reasons. If they become a fan favorite and gain followers, they can cash in on Instagram. If you stalk most of the girls from Ben's season, they're pushing hair vitamins and teeth whiteners on Instagram. They cashed in.
The contestants may also just be trying to become the next bachelorette or make it to Bachelor in Paradise. Quite frankly, looking for a mate on national television is a weird thing to do. We can't be sure that anyone is 100% there for the right reason, but this is still the ultimate sin.
All The Swimming Dates Ever
If you're a contestant on The Bachelor, you better be bikini body ready, because you're about to be wearing a bikini on national TV. Yup, it's just the way it is.
If you're eliminated the first night, you may be spared from the bikini, but so many of the solo dates require bikini. Even if you don't think you'll be in a bikini because your solo date includes skiing down a mountain, there might be a hot tub at the end of the mountain. No, we're not kidding. There will be beach dates. There will be jumping off cliffs. There will be swimming, absolutely no doubt about it.
Because this is reality (to a certain extant), the girls will have their mascara run. They'll just have to barrel through it in an afford to win the bachelor's heart. Ugh, mascara ruining down your face on ABC. We're actually glad we're not on The Bachelor right now.
5 One Exit Will Make You Clap
You'll clap during someone's exit and it will be for one of three reasons. The first reason may be because she is the villain. You've been waiting for the bachelor to give her the boot the whole season and now, he finally has. It's even better if she throws a fit. The villain throwing a fit because she's been eliminated is TV gold. Remember when Olivia was left stranded on the beach? It would have been sad if we hadn't all been waiting for her to be axed.
The second reason you may clap during someone's exit is because they are classy AF. Watching a girl be dumped on television and stay completely cool and elegant is as close as Audrey Hepburn as one can be on reality TV. You respect the hell out of her, and you won't know how the bachelor ever let her go. In fact, he'll probably second guessing his decision now too.
The final reason you may clap during an elimination is because they are the realest. Remember when Caila jumped out of the car to ask Ben what the deal was? Hell yeah, girl. Remember when Chase, who was rather dull all season, started chugging champagne when JoJo broke up with him? We love the people who keep it real and we'll clap so hard for them.
4 Multiple People Go To The Fantasy Suite
Not everyone enjoys the fantasy suite with all three of their remaining contestants. In JoJo's season of The Bachelorette, she broke up with Chase because she realized she couldn't go to the fantasy suite with him. Not leading him on was rather classy of her. However, it doesn't always go down like that.
The most recent bachelor season may have been the most epic fantasy suite episode in the history of The Bachelor. Yes, we know that Chris Harrison always says that but, in this case, it's true. Ben took all three girls to the fantasy suite. All three! He also told two girls that he loved them, both JoJo and Lauren B. Dropping multiple L-bombs is a big, huge, enormous no-no in Bachelor world. Wait, the episode got even better when Caila, the only remaining contestant he didn't say I love you to, surprised him the next morning. He told her he wasn't into her, y'know right after having spent the night with her. So. Much. Drama.
Being that Nick is the bachelor and he notoriously hooks up with everyone, we're betting multiple girls go to the fantasy suite with him. You do you, Nick.
3 Those Awkward Morning After Shots
Does anyone else cringe so hard during these scenes? They are the worst. Here's the thing, we get it, ABC. The bachelor and the contestant will stay in a super sexy hotel room. There's candles. There's roses. There's a huge bed. The room is begging for the pair to have sex in it. It's assumed that the pair does have sex in the room. We all assume it. However, ABC really rubs it in.
It's definitely not necessarily for ABC to show all their clothes strewn about the room, as if they ripped them off because making sweet love. It's also unnecessary to get creepy footage outside the window the night of, which ABC sometimes shows. It just feels so icky, especially because we all already thought they got it on.
One Horrible Hometown Dinner
One of the hometown dinners will be weird and uncomfortable. It's a given.
On the most recent The Bachelor, Ben actually had two awkward family dinners. When he met JoJo's family, her brothers confronted Ben about his intentions. They even suggested that Ben was brain washing the girls. It's typical that the family will be protective of their daughter, who is sharing a boyfriend with multiple other girls on television. These confrontations almost always happen.
Ben's second awkward hometown dinner was his entire hometown date with Amanda. He was so clearly not ready for fatherhood. The whole date with her, the single mother of two, really rubbed that in. Whatever the conflict may be, you can be guaranteed that someone's hometown date will be awkward AF.
What won't be guaranteed is a mother chugging wine from the bottle. JoJo's mother is a The Bachelor all-star and we will miss her sweet wine-loving soul.
2 “I'm Falling For You”
We discussed how telling multiple girls the L-word is a no-no earlier in this piece, but really staying it at all is to be avoided. You can't declare your love to just one contestant. Doing so would take all the conflict out of the show, as we'd know who should win. However, when Ben told both finalists that he loved them, people were angry as hell. What's a bachelor to do if saying it to one or two contestants is frowned upon? Well, he danced around the word.
Instead, the bachelor will usually pull the 'I'm falling for you' line. It's a slick way to dance around the L-word. While it's implied, he isn't fully saying 'I love you' to someone. The contestants dance around saying it, often saying that they are “falling” too. This is their way of feeling out the bachelor. You will definitely hear quite a few 'I'm falling for you' lines this season.
1 The Bachelor Is Completely Torn (Until He's Not)
When the final episode airs, the bachelor will be completely torn for 90% of it. Then, he will be the most confident in his choice for the remaining 10% of the episode.
First, he won't know what to do. He'll consult his parents. He'll pace around a room, possibly while wearing a towel and showing off his abs. He'll ponder, as a voiceover talks about his love for both finalists. He simply won't know who he is going to choose.
Somehow, though, the confusion will lift. The bachelor will suddenly be so sure about his choice that he will (most likely) propose marriage to one woman at the end of the episode. How does one go from being torn between two girls to knowing who he wants to be married to for the rest of his life? We don't know, but we do know that it will happen on this season of The Bachelor, just as it's happened on every season of The Bachelor.
We may know how much of the season will play out, but we'll still tune in for all the drama. The rose ceremonies are too good, guys!
