15 Hilarious Celebrity Tweets About The Joys Of Parenting
Parenting is no easy feat. Or so we hear. There's the diapers, the crying, the complete lack of sleep. The spit-ups, throw ups and temper tantrums. All of the questions, all of the daycare sicknesses. And just being in charge of another human life. That's a lot of responsibility!
And it also makes for some pretty hilarious moments - especially for those of us on the outside who get to laugh but don't have to deal with the responsibility. Kids say and do the darnedest things! Whether intentional or not, kids are funny. Or they're trouble and huge pains - which also provides some comic relief for us as we watch their parents try to deal with that. And no one makes parenting sound more entertaining than entertainers themselves, celebrity parents!
Celebrity parents are hilarious! Even if they dress their babies in fur coats or have an army of nannies, they still experience the ups and downs of parenting. Yes, even moms in mansions have to deal with missing shoes, piles of toys and sticky fingers. Dads with doormen can't run away from early mornings, sleepless nights and never enough naps. And lucky for us, these moms and dads like to record all of their parenting wins and fails on social media for our enjoyment. Read on for 15 hilarious tweets from your favorite celebrities about the joys of modern day parenting!
15 Not All Men
There are men who have scaled Everest who wouldnt dare to travel with two kids under 3. #warrior #dadbeast.
- dax shepard (@daxshepard1) December 29, 2015
Dax is right. It definitely takes a certain type of man who will fearlessly travel with two children under three. That's impressive. Of course, shout out to Kristen Bell for also traveling with two kids under three and a husband like Dax who is happy to take all the credit. But joking aside, traveling with kids is tough work! You think you overpack now? Just wait until you also need to pack the diaper bag, change of clothes, toys, food, medicine, stroller, car seat, and the list goes on. So you have more bags but not any more hands to carry them. In fact, you have fewer hands because you also have to carry the kids. You have to get them through security and all of the other lineups, give them enough time to run around at the gate without disturbing anyone and then hope they're tired out enough to sleep for the whole flight. But a slim chance of that happening!
14 Gross But Sadly True
Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face. #awesome
- olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) April 24, 2014
Thanks for that fun reminder, Olivia. Yes, it's gross but it's also very true. Those little guys are peeing all over the place! There's a reason you never leave the danger zone exposed. You always cover it with something when you're doing the diaper change. Because sure, it's hilarious when your baby pees on his own face, but he won't stop there. If given the chance, he will pee on the wall, the change table and, you guessed it, the face of his poor unsuspecting parent. So laugh now, Olivia but watch out! My suggestion is to always stand to the side so you have a quick escape route in case he decides to go rogue. Yes, baby boys are disgusting. And yes, it starts this young. There's a whole lot more disgusting to come after this. Just wait until he starts potty training and working on his aim. Yuck! Though odds are it won't be Olivia scrubbing the toilet seat.
13 Step Up Your Gift Game
My kids asked me what the Wall Street protestors were angry about, & I told them it was the crappy Father's Day gift they gave me last year.
- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 13, 2011
This has got to be fatherhood at its best! All parents should strive to be as clever and quick thinking as Conan O'Brien. If your kids are not quite ready to learn about the economy, protesting and privilege, why not spin the news for your own gains? Probably beats explaining to your kids that you are part of the 10% that those Wall Street protesters were angry at. So use their curiosity against them and help ensure you get the best Father's Day gift in the world next year. This is the time to start hinting about that big screen TV you have got your eye on. Or maybe start leaving out a list of chores you would rather not do. Mow the lawn? Nah, I have got kids to do that. You just crack a beer, put your feet up and let your kids worry about the rest. Sounds like a dream!
12 The Parent Diet
It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish…
- Carrie Underwood (@carrieunderwood) April 30, 2016
I always imagine famous celebrities noshing on the best and healthiest food. I just imagine that every meal is expertly prepared by a chef. If I were a celebrity, it'd be non-stop feasting on sushi, steak, seafood and macarons for dessert. I would probably then have to spend a lot of time with my expensive celebrity trainer, but it would be worth it! But this is a celebrity diet I've never heard of. Leftovers that your kids didn't want? I have a hard time imagining Carrie Underwood enjoying a lunch of half-eaten chicken nuggets that have gone cold. But I guess the Parent Of A Toddler Diet is universal, whether you're a celebrity or not. Carrie Underwood - she's just like us! Though her kid's leftover food is probably organic mini veggie burgers and freshly cut baked sweet potato fries. I wouldn't mind eating leftovers in a celebrity household actually.
11 Clean Up, Aisle 7!
"I don't think so mommy!" Is what my child said after "Can you please pick up the popcorn you threw all over?" pic.twitter.com/00rXSZ3CxW
- Anna Faris (@AnnaKFaris) August 1, 2015
It's a precious time when children learn how to make choices but neglect responsibility. When they are so earnest that they think some requests posed as questions are actually questions. And when their response is almost cute enough for you to let them get away with it. If that adorable child said, "I don't think so, mommy!" to me, I'd lose it. He'd never have to pick up popcorn as long as he had that precious smile on his face. Hopefully, Anna Faris is more strong-willed than I am. Because pulling popcorn kernels out of the carpet does not sound like a fun job. But don't they have a super powered vacuum that can clean that up in two seconds? Maybe Jack is just thinking of the more efficient solution. Of course, he shouldn't spend his precious time using small hands to pick up tons of popcorn when a vacuum can do it better and faster. He's a genius!
10 It's War Out There!
"It's 8:30am & I've already gotten into 5 fights" - thugs, and parents of toddlers
- Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) January 14, 2013
There's not much I like to do before 8:30 in the morning. In fact, unless someone is bringing me breakfast in bed, I'm getting paid or I'm on my way to the airport to catch a flight to somewhere warm and exotic, I only want to be comatose before 8:30 am. I definitely don't want to have five fights under my belt by that point. If you've already had five fights by 8:30, what does the rest of the day even look like? I think I would just call it after that and head right back to bed. I'd throw in the towel. There's only so many times you can fight about brushing teeth, putting on clothes, eating breakfast, cleaning up toys, turning off the TV and whatever else happens in a toddler's morning. They win. Mommy is going back to bed. Watch all the TV you want. You know where the cereal box is if you get hungry.
9 At Least It's Eco-Friendly, Right?
Was in the middle of my skincare routine and Samuel spits up all over my face. There's no way I'm wasting what I've done. Consider it toner.
- CatherineGiudiciLowe (@clmgiudici) August 25, 2016
First of all, kudos to Catherine for even trying to keep up a skincare routine while taking care of an infant. I do not have kids and I could not tell you the last time I used a cleanser or toner. So way to go, Catherine! You are already miles ahead of me. And way to roll with the punches. Most people would want to immediately scrub any baby spit up off their face with a coarse towel and lots of anti-bacterial soap. But you are going with it! Odds are your baby is still eating some form of breast milk, highly organic and natural formula or even more natural and organic mashed baby food. All of that stuff is healthy, right? All those DIY face cleansers say to use mashed avocados and yogurt anyway - which is essentially just baby food. You are right on trend, Catherine, don't worry about it.
8 When You Need That Caffeine
River is napping. My coffee machine broke. In desperate need of coffee. Really wish Starbucks, Crema, or Fido delivered. #momproblems
- Kelly Clarkson (@kelly_clarkson) April 11, 2015
Kelly Clarkson is not messing around. Her baby is asleep and mama needs some caffeine, stat. Only problem? She doesn't have any! And you better believe she won't be waking her sleeping baby to get some. So, in desperation, she sends out a tweet. How is she expected to cope caffeine free? In response to this tweet, one mom shared with Kelly that she has two coffee machines at home for just this type of situation. Many other fans offered to bring some coffee to Kelly. Luckily, she wasn't desperate enough to tweet out her address and go to order. But turns out her adoring husband did bring a coffee home for her. And it sounds like Starbucks may have sent a care package as well. Starbucks, why don't you ever send me a care package? Sure, I don't have a baby and I'm not a celebrity, but I could use a coffee!
7 When Grandma Shows You Up
Mom is babysitting and I've got photos of Luna in some pajama dress I've never seen and she's wearing shoes for the first time ever pic.twitter.com/kLGCmSHBMM
- christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 29, 2016
Grandmas always have to show you up and prove that they know best. After all, they raised you so they must know a thing or two, right? Grandparents can get away with just about anything because who is going to tell a sweet old grandma off? No one. Especially not when she is babysitting for free. But does she have to show off so much? Of course, your grand-baby loves you. You are a wonderful grandmother with amazing parenting skills. But how the heck did you get her to wear shoes? We have been trying that for weeks and she keeps pulling them off! What magic are you using? What power do you have over her? And where did you even find a child sized old lady nightgown? Are you just trying to make it so you and your grand-baby can match? It just seems like no matter what, grandma will always win. Smooth moves, grandma.
6 When You Reach A New Parenting Low
I watched Frozen without my two year old this morning. Despair reveals itself in many forms.
- Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) November 9, 2016
Oh, Ryan. This really is a sad look on you. You don't wear pathetic very well. But who are we to judge? Maybe the brainwashing that is Frozen finally got to you. You probably didn't even realize you were doing it. Maybe it's your daughter James' routine to start each morning with her daily viewing of Frozen. So perhaps you just walked into the room, tired from not having slept thanks to your newborn, and put the movie on. It's not your fault; you were on auto-pilot! Or maybe James was there and she insisted you put it on. So you, in your sleep-deprived state, obliged without a fight. But partway through, James wandered off, probably to go bake something with Blake in the kitchen, and you were just too tired to turn off the movie. Or maybe you're actually a huge Frozen fan and you'll be auditioning for the sequel. I'm sure your family would love if you snagged a role!
5 Look How Far We've Come
my life was once whiskey, tears, and cigarettes… now it's snot, tears, and the color of poop. #bliss
- P!nk (@Pink) June 14, 2011
Who would have thought that rough and tumble Pink, the bad girl of pop music, would be a married mother of two one day? Certainly not me! but we think this whole other part of her makes her that much more of a rockstar. Her pink mohawk just did not scream maternal at the time. But she has certainly proved us wrong. Breaking every stereotype, Pink has proved that she can still be a bad-a$$ musician, powerful athlete (have you seen her trapeze work?) and a great mom, all at the same time. Good for you, Pink! But of course, she did have to give up a few things. Whiskey and cigarettes should probably not be staples of motherhood. But at least the tears stayed consistent. But who is crying? Pink or her babies? Probably both. No matter where the tears are coming from, Pink could not be happier with her life. And we could not be happier for her!
4 Dads, You Have No Idea
My daughter & I accidentally busted in on my husband in the bathroom & he got mad which is funny since I HAVEN'T PEED ALONE IN 7 YEARS.
- Busy Philipps (@BusyPhilipps) December 8, 2015
Preach, Busy! You tell your husband exactly how lucky he is to still get his private time in the bathroom. Every mother I know, every girl for that matter, has had to share her bathroom time with someone else. Whether it's heading to the bathroom in a pack to check your makeup, gossip and hide from creepy boys or to lend hygiene products and hold back someone's hair when they're sick, girls have been doing this for years. And then comes motherhood and bathroom privacy is completely non-existent. Of course, you have to take your kid into the stall with you at a public bathroom. You can't ask a three your old to stand outside and wait. And they need you in there anyway when they're going so you can lift them onto the seat and ensure they're using the right amount of toilet paper. It's sad to think that peeing alone would be a luxury but it so is.
3 You're A Ghost Or You're Nothing
Day before Halloween and my kids are STIILL changing their minds about costumes!!! #wontmakecostumesnextyear
- alyson hannigan (@alydenisof) October 30, 2015
Alyson, we absolutely applaud you for even attempting to make your own Halloween costumes. That's some next level mom stuff. Did you have to bust out a sewing machine and everything? You're impressing the socks off of us! But it clearly sounds like you didn't handle the concept and design stages very well. You've worked with fashion designers before; you must know how this works. Your client has to get back to you with an idea or a sketch before the deadline or else it's too late! And October 30th is definitely way too late to be starting your handmade Halloween costumes. I'm glad you've learned from this experiment and I hope you head to Target next year like everyone else. That way, your kids just have to pick something off the rack. And if they wait until October 30th, they'll be forced to pick from what's left over or throw an old sheet over their heads and go as ghosts.
2 How Ungrateful!
Up until 2am constructing a table with wooden trains for Gideon and all he wants to do is play with a broom. #MerryXmas pic.twitter.com/9O4WAtuH
- Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) December 25, 2012
Children are so ungrateful. Do they not know how hard their parents work? Do you think NPH wanted to stay up until two in the morning putting together a wooden train table? Probably not. And he probably had to stay up late the night before that to work on Harper's gift too. And this is the thanks he gets? Gideon, you choose a broom over your handcrafted wooden train set? Ridiculous! Next year you are getting a Swiffer and you better love it. Actually, come to think of it, maybe this is an interest you want to encourage. Your kid is choosing to clean instead of play. This could be a good sign! Maybe he will be able to keep his room clean as a teenager or even help clean up the house before guests arrive. Forget trains, Gideon! Brooms, mops, and feather dusters are really where it is at.
1 When Celeb Parents Are There For Each Other
Anyone else suck at parenting today? 😬
- olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) September 7, 2016
We love when celebrities are there for each other and support one another. And we especially love when celebrity parents reach out to one another. Like this desperate tweet from Olivia Wilde. She just wants to make sure she's not the only Hollywood parent who is having a crap day at being a parent. Any other parenting fails out there? Luckily for Olivia, she had Ryan Reynolds respond as the supportive dad he is. His reply read, "Nah. Nailed it." Okay, so maybe not the support she was looking for. Maybe Ryan was just trying to raise the bar and help Olivia strive to be the best parent she can be. Or he's full of it and wants to give Olivia something to laugh at. Probably the latter. They probably chuckled at their twitter exchange on their next play date. How do we get invited to that? Olivia Wilde, Jason Sudeikis and their two babies with Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, and their two babies - sign me up!