How to Move On after a Break Up and Overcome the Pain

A break up is not the end of the world, and instead of wallowing in self pity or burning with rage, you really should be working on moving on with your life after a break up.

Click here to read the introduction: Life after a Break Up - Whose Fault is the Breakup?

How do we learn to have better relationships? Well, strangely, when the student is ready, the master appeareth… thus goes an old Chinese proverb.

When we need to learn a hard lesson, and have taken things for granted, or have not been able to read a situation well enough, then life itself becomes the teacher. We always remember the time we experienced pain. Avoiding such painful recurrences in future becomes a reflex action that protects us.

But, remember… A break up is not the end of the world and you can always move on after a break up!

A break up is a consequence of what we did, or did not do. It is a time for introspection. It is not a time for instant decisions. This is nature's way of saying learn from the experience and see that it does not recur.

Here are some tips for those who might be on the terminated side of a relationship:

Understand the Pain

Do not get into revenge mode, what's done is done. Do not blame yourself for what has happened. Do take time to figure out what went wrong, and what you could have done better. You have lost love, but you have gained a lesson.

Pain is nature's way of saying that something was wrong. Pain is therefore our best teacher.

Let's learn from this. Do understand that everything in life doesn't last forever. Some things will fail, in spite of our best efforts. Look at the other significant relationships in your personal life (siblings, parents, friends, colleagues). Try to enhance these, because some of these may have been neglected when you were high on love.

Refocus on your Life

Look at all the things in your life that you had not focused on while you were in a relationship. Revisit your goals and dreams. Have these slipped over the years? Start looking ahead, and planning for the other aspects of your life like your career, your health, etc. Join a gym, go for dance classes, start a new hobby. Do something different.

Celebrate Life

Life is a celebration. But every celebration costs something. How much are you willing to pay life to learn and to evolve? And how would it be if you could understand to read people's minds and help them back, instead of taking them for granted or getting annoyed with them? Would you then be a better person, or would you instead continue being your old self and try another roll of the dice in the game of love?

You can lock yourself up and wait for the inevitable breakdown in your life, or you can move on after a break up into a better life. The choice, fortunately or unfortunately, is entirely your own!