13 Ways Barbie Ruined Us

Barbie was everything growing up, she was our idol with her perfect long hair and fit body, and oh, every outfit fit her perfectly. She had the nicest accessories and even a dream guy who was perfect himself. Her blue eyes of course made us want to have blues eyes, and her long thin legs started the thigh gap obsession. Of course this is just what happens when your favorite doll is one that you idolize and aspire to be.

As we grew up we realized just how much Barbie had affected us, she was everything to us with her perfect looks. The standard of beauty can be very convoluted for young girls especially when they are being taught to love themselves meanwhile are given dolls that are the 'epitome of perfection'. That is why todays Barbies have been made to fix this notion of beauty, creating dolls of different sizes, shapes and features.

Read on to see if you agree that Barbie truly did ruin us.

13 She made wearing heels look easy

Any girl knows that wearing heels is the price we pay for a certain standard of beauty. While heels can complement many outfits, they are not -repeat not meant to accompany all outfits. Fact: more women have stumbled & tripped due to heels than any other shoe on the market. Barbie taught us that stilettos and high heeled knee-length boots went with everything -from any occasion to any job, heels were all the rage. Thanks for making life look flawless in a 6 inch pair of pink pumps.

12 She made one body shape the norm

Barbie is like size 0 or negative something or other, I'm not quite sure, but Barbie is super tiny, like teeny tiny, like not even realistic tiny. She's pencil thin, big busted, and has very narrow hips. Someone once said that Barbie is so impractical that if she were to exist in real life, she would fall forward due to her big chest paired with both ridiculously small feet and hips -she couldn't even take one step. How's that for a body shape -one that falls flat on the ground. And this is the doll we give to young girls around the world -a doll who, if she were to be animated, couldn't even stand on her own two feet.

11 She made one beauty standard appealing

Today beauty concepts are changing, expanding, and evolving. “Finally”, we say, all women say -with a sign of relief. But for a long time, Barbie was the it-girl, a timeless, accessible sense of beauty that all girls, despite race, ethnicity, and culture, looked to. It was as if girls should adhere to or strive to achieve Barbie's beauty. Girls from near and far, with varying degrees of genes and cultures, were are still are looking at Barbie, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Barbie, and using her as an actual standard of female beauty. Barbie needs to get with the program; she needs to let every single girl know how beautiful each one is. And none of that despite your-blah-blah-blah bull.

10 She made getting a car look easy

Like one day Barbie just decided to drive and own a car. She didn't have to go through driver's ed, she didn't have to pass any written or driven test -out of nowhere she's legal to drive, just like that. She makes driving looks so cool and fun; clearly Barbie is only driving countryside, she is not doing any city navigating what-so-ever, not with that carefree attitude of hers. And she owns a car, like where did Barbie get that kind of money? Barbie did not tell us about the boring summer school days of driver's ed, she didn't tell us how stressful driving is, or how hard it is to save for a used car or a down payment on a car. She just -poof, had a car and keys and a license. Only in Barbie's world.

9 She made relationships look easy

Barbie and Ken, as far as I know, have never had a fight -at least not publicly. Barbie and Ken have had the most perfect relationship known to (wo)mankind. This is problematic. It teaches young girls that when Barbie finds her Ken, they follow these steps: get married, have a baby, and live happily ever after. There's no Barbie getting pissed at Ken for not helping with the housework, there's no Barbie fighting with Ken about her right to wear a mini-skirt past 30, there's no Barbie arguing with Ken about women's rights or birth control or abortion. And what if Barbie doesn't even like “Ken” dolls? Barbie did not teach any young girls about the LGBTQ community or anything non-binary. She's made it all look so simple, all so categorical. As if, Barbie -as if.

8 She made getting a house look easy

For anyone that has apartment or house hunted, the trials and tribulations are outstanding. Barbie did not talk about rental agreements, mortgages, or interest rates. She just -poof, had a house. All furnished and everything, like who hooked that house up, Barbie? There was never a discussion of home decorating, DIY projects, or lawn care. Barbie left all young girls in the dark; she acted as though getting an apartment or house was only a matter of asking. Oh, dear universe, give me an apartment or bless me with a house. In Barbie's world, all is magic-ish.

7 She made being a career mom look easy

So being a career woman -hard. Being a mom -hard. Being both, doubly-hard, but somehow Barbie removes all those struggles. She prances around in her heels at her office job, then rushes home to manage the house and the baby all so seamless -still in heels, mind you. In Barbie's world there is none of the following: screaming babies, problems with daycare, food stamps, bills, problems with public transportation, dirty laundry, sink full of dishes, unfinished work that's due tomorrow, final notices, PTA meetings, carpools, baby vomit, wet diapers, or difficult bosses. In Barbie's world, a woman can have both a career and a family; that's fine and cool and applauded, but what about the real sh*$, Barbie. What about the truth, Barbie? Why did you never tell us how hard it would be?

6 She made long hair the status quo for women

While I must admit that I, too, love long hair, there are also many short hairstyles that make me drool. Barbie, in any form, has never-ever had short hair. Even the limited Barbie and The Rockers of the 80s had long hair, no mohawk, no nothing. It would be great if Barbie were brave enough to rock a shaved head, a sleek bob, or any of the other numerous short hairstyles out there. But no, Barbie is and will always be attached to her long locks -making young girls, with hair ambition, second guess urges to change up their looks. By the way, growing hair long like that takes years, ain't no one got time for that anymore, Barbie.

5 She made skinny legs and narrow hips all the rage

When I finally began my journey into womanhood -I was stunned, quite literally, to discover that I had a ton of meaty parts around my legs and hips. As Barbie's measurements were the go-to for beauty, I was certain that I would turn out like her. Like millions of girls around the world, I was duped. No one told us that we would all come in different shapes and sizes, different heights and weights, different colors and shades. Barbie told us that long legs and small hips were the acceptable form for all woman; therefore, I thought they would be bestowed upon me. Boy, oh boy was I wrong. Update: Barbie has been revamped to inform young girls that those 1980s hips do lie; Barbie now has some meat on her bones. Hallelujah.

4 She made us ashamed of the nipple

There is huge nipple shame in many cultures. And if I were to blame someone, I just might point a finger at nipple-shaming Barbie. She has none, after all. What does this teach young girls? That showing, let alone having nipples, is wrong and something frowned upon in society. It also teaches young girls (and boys and everything in between) that nipples serve one function -for sexual foreplay/excitement. Today breast-feeding mothers are undergoing serious criticism these days for wanting to do something natural with their nipples -feed their babies. But the question goes back to why doesn't Barbie have nipples? Nipples are only seen as sexual, erogenous zones that are taboo. Never mind that everyone walking around planet earth today has once suckled their mother's milk -nipples are also a beautiful source of life and nutrition, but no one told Barbie that, hence her lack of nipples.

3 She made any social event look easy

Barbie could waltz into any event with the grace of a swan, not bat an eyelash, sip champagne, and leave in style. She never had spouts of anxiety, depression, or panic-attacks or even last minute wardrobe disasters or break-ups. Barbie was always on the up and up, full of energy, light as a feather, bouncy -even. She never wore the wrong thing, she never arrived too late or too early, and she, mostly definitely, never got too drunk which could potentially turn her into the office joke, the party slut, or the raging pathetic. It was as if she had partying down to a science, minus the smeared mascara, the missing purse, and walk of shame (although I had to use that term because I don't see anything shameful in a one night stand).

2 She made any career look flawless

Most careers, if not all, require time, energy -blood & sweat, baby. But for Barbie, it's a simple as saying “I'm a teacher, I'm a doctor, I'm flight attendant” and poof -fully clad in uniform with degree in hand, there goes Barbie off to her new job as a teacher, doctor, or flight attendant. Barbie did not teach us that these career would take years of study, hours of dedication, and, in most cases, lots of money. She taught us that all we had to do was wear the outfit and say the title and, like magic, we could be it. Barbie, affirmations are great, but if only they happened so fast. Careers take years, child.

1 She made us think life was having things, not being things

Barbie had it all, from the man and baby to the house and car. Well, for most women this is everything (today things are so much different, thank the gods). But she made it all look so easy and that, at the end of the day, if we accumulated these things we could be happy. Barbie never once taught us about inner peace, self-esteem, journeys &/or paths. Barbie never mentioned that having more might be a headache. Barbie never once said that being who we really want to be is more important that all the things in the whole wide world. Barbie was all like “have these clothes and shoes, get you a car and a house, fill that house with stuff, fill that house with a man and a baby, and then get you some other things and happiness will soon follow”. Barbie was all like wrong. Thanks for nothing, Barbie.