15 Films/TV Shows That Leave You With Unrealistic Expectations
Have you ever thought about why you have yet to meet your Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook"?-- well, it is quite simple actually, it is because he does not exist. We live in a world where movies do a really excellent job (as they are supposed to) at making us all believe that men and relationships are supposed to and will, turn out like they do in movies and that we all will someday meet our prince charming and the ultimate package because it makes us believe it all exists in real life.
Unfortunately, women grow up with all these unrealistic expectations for how relationships should be-- fairytales are not real. We like to believe they are-- and some people believe they do, but there is no such thing as a fairytale if anything YOU create your own fairytale. We believe that men can change, that love-at-first-sight is real, that even putting distance between us will bring you back together, and that men will always do big grand gestures, that your best guy friend is secretly in love with you, and that if you just put your heart out on the line and fight for them-- that ultimately he will end up in love with you. But it does not work that way AT ALL in real life. Some people get lucky, but love and relationships are nothing like the movies.
It doesn't mean that romance does not exist, or that chivalry is dead-- it just means that we cannot expect everything to turn out like the movies. Sure, it would be fantastic if it did-- but that isn't real. If you struggle with the reality that you have a tendency to expect relationships to turn out a certain way-- then it's probably because you watch a lot of romance movies. But that is where we come in-- to help you separate the reality of romance versus the movie-scene hot n' heavy romance, Here are 15 films and television shows that give women unrealistic expectations on love and relationships, take a look:
15 Fifty-Shades Of Grey
Some women fall in love with the idea of being with a man like Christian Grey-- not the intense aspects of him but rather the sweet things he ends up doing, or the fact that he "changes" for Ana. While all that sounds lovely, and who would not want a guy to change for them--ultimately, it is sending women the wrong message. For starters, no one should ever subject themselves to such a toxic relationship-- therefore, the film right off the bat gives women unrealistic expectations. And as we go further into the film, it isn't just the intimate scenes and his obsession with BDSM-- it is the fact that he comes across as protective and controlling and while Ana does stand up for herself. She ends up doing the most common mistake most women make-- going back to the guy you really shouldn't be with. Why is it that women do that? This movie makes women think that they can change a guy or that if a guy loves you he will change on his own-- either way, it is unrealistic. You can't change someone and the reality of staying in a toxic relationship isn't a healthy mindset. Sorry ladies, but Mr. Grey does not exist!
14 Romeo And Juliet
Everyone loves a good classic story, but if you think about it Romeo and Juliet is really sad and not a healthy relationship either. For starters, their families absolutely despise each other, yet they believe their love is strong enough to overcome those obstacles. But to love someone so much that you would literally die for them? Not sure if that is considered romantic. The idea of true love and doing anything in your power to be with that person is completely romantic-- but that is just it. Women romanticize the idea of love and relationships and how men should treat you, but it never actually plays out to be like that. Movies really have a way of making women think relationships are like that and then reality hits and we become disappointed. Nothing about dying for the one you love is cute or romantic or anything in the spectrum. And while we are at it, let's go back to the whole Juliet's father reprimanding her not to date Romeo-- sound familiar? When we were younger and we had a crush on that one guy but our parents did not approve, we still wanted to date him. Why do women do that? In reality, though, you want to be with someone that your family approves of.
13 The Notebook
We all dream of finding a man like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. And we dream that no matter how much distance is put between us if we are meant to be together it will all work out. We love the idea of love, of finding our prince charming, of him being madly in love with us and fighting for us no matter what. While all that sounds wonderful, it is rare that it ever actually happens. Rarely will you find the love of your life when you're young and if you do you are a lucky lady. And finding your way back to each other rarely happens in reality as well. While the Notebook is a classic film that everyone loves, it also leaves women with unrealistic expectations. Relationships are never easy, and yes, the film shows how complicated relationships can be but they are also not that dramatic. And love is never how it is portrayed in a film. The Notebook leaves women thinking he will write you love letters-- sorry to burst your bubble but he won't ever do such a thing. Except for your birthday and perhaps when he really messed up, you really should not expect any romantic handwritten letters of him professing his undying love for you. And since it is 2017, he most likely will just email, text, or snapchat an inappropriate pic instead-- and that is the closest you will get to him professing anything to you.
12 The Longest Ride
The ultimate love story-- and Nicholas Sparks sure knows how to tug on your heart strings. Every girl that watches a Nicholas Sparks movie finds themselves wishing they had a love like that, wishing somehow that the one guy they want wants them back. While it is fun to fantasize it isn't safe-- as these film cause women to expect things that just don't really exist. A tale of star-crossed lovers and them meeting an older man that tells them a love story that even makes them realize things and ultimately inspiring the young couple. We all like a good love story-- but it isn't reality. And unfortunately, the Longest Ride enables women to believe that love conquers all and that sometimes what you thought were your dreams weren't-- as in, this film makes women want to disown their dreams and follow the dreams of love and of a guy. Because being in a relationship and giving up almost everything is worth it. But realistically speaking, you shouldn't ever give up your dream job just to save a relationship. Everything happens for a reason, but this film gives women false hope.
11 Titanic
Titanic is a classic love tale, but it is also very, very, unrealistic. Love-at-first-sight does not exist-- no matter what anyone says, it isn't real. You can be infatuated with someone, you can be attracted to them, you can lust after them due to their appearance-- but that isn't love. Forget the fact that a guy will never die for you especially after just a week of knowing you-- and not to mention, Rose-- seriously, there was definitely enough room for two on that wooden slab, you shouldn't have been such a hog! But despite that, Jack falling head-over-heels when upon meeting Rose (and her rack) for the very first time was definitely not love - it was “I wanna get you in bed" eyes. Realistically speaking, when a guy first sees a woman, in all honesty, we are very lucky if we can actually get him to think of anything other than what we look like naked, let alone spending the rest of our lives together. Therefore, Jack and Rose's love story gives all women false hope, it leaves us to think men can actually fall in love with us by the first meet and that they know they want to spend their lives with us.
10 10 Things I Hate About You
If you think that a man is big on grand gestures, you have been watching 10 Things I Hate About You way too many times. This film gives women false hope that if a guy is into you then he will perform a big grand gesture just to profess his love. Sounds great and all-- too bad that never happens in reality. Many women swooned over Heath Ledger in this film as he danced and sang just to get the girls attention and we all romanticized how much we wish the guy we like would do the same. Let's be honest here, what woman would ever resist a man who sings? Not me! And after watching the oh-so-charming, young Heath Ledger famously serenading Julia Stiles in front of the entire school-- we all secretly hoped that the one guy you always had a crush on would eventually break out in a song during third period P.E. class. And when that never happened, we all went back to reserving our fantasy for the hopes that somewhere down the line we just might meet Mr. Right and he will serenade us while professing his undying love. But we were so very wrong. Because most men do not have enough balls to tell their mothers to stop shopping for them, and most men don't know how to show their feelings let alone tell women how they feel--therefore, there is zero chance that a man will muster up the courage to stop traffic, singing our favorite songs and above all, proclaiming their love for us. It just isn't realistic.
9 Wedding Crashers
You know that saying "the one that got away"?-- that line totally syncs with the film Wedding Crashers, it gives you this sinking feeling that the moment you decide you are in love with someone that you cannot let them go. Even if there is a slight chance that they belong to someone else. And while the movie gives you hope that if you love someone they will eventually be yours-- but reality sinks in and you realize it isn't always that way. Usually, the one that got away tends to stay that way and out of the picture. Yet isn't it ironic, they always end up coming back in the movies, and this is exceptionally at the expense of the woman. In the film Wedding Crashers, it clearly shows that Owen Wilson has lost his shot when he deceives Rachel McAdams, and even though he has deceived her he is still able to win her over-- during her own wedding nonetheless! Isn't it funny how movies can just tug on your little heart strings-- we all tend to think about the one that got away, and how we know deep down that he isn't ever coming back especially to stop our nuptials. In reality, the guy is probably out trying to get as many girls as he possibly can right now and not thinking about us at all.
8 Pretty Little Liars
Admit it-- we all have one time or another fantasized about hooking up with a really hot teacher-- am I right? But then you wake up and realize it was all a dream and that if that ever happened in real life your friends would not be condoning it-- rather, lip-locking with your teacher would just be frowned upon. Pretty Little Liars is a great show-- it is suspenseful, dramatic, and has some hot steamy romances-- one, in particular, would be Aria and Ezra. While all of the PLL fans have cheered these two on as a couple, reality sets in and we can't help but think how weird it would be if that ever happened in real life. This show makes lip-locking your teacher seem hot and totally worth the risk-- hence, unrealistic expectations. For starters, Aria is underage-- which means in real life Ezra could get in major trouble. Pretty Little Liars gives women the idea that being hot for a teacher is totally cute-- but it's not! Look, just being honest here as all I'd like to say is that if you ever-- for some odd reason-- ended up hooking up with your professor, the chances are that no one will coo over it and believe it is sweet and true love. PLL might feed into your fantasy and make you believe that the opposite is true but reality sets in and chances are that anybody with half a brain will automatically believe it is creepy. Is lip-locking your so-called hot teacher really worth the risk?
7 The Hart Of Dixie
The love triangle in Bluebell, Alabama is unreal-- as there is George Tucker and Lemon and then Zoe Hart who is at first pining for George and then Lemon had a love affair with Lavon Hayes and then Bluebell's number one player Wade Kinsella ends up falling in love with Zoe. It is all really complicated actually if you think about it-- and let's be real, love triangles in real life never work out and most of the time everyone ends up hating each other. It is all messy and confusing-- and ain't no one got time for that. But of course, leave it to Hart of Dixie as their complicated love triangle makes everyone first root for Lemon and George to George and Zoe, to Lemon and Lavon, to Zoe and Wade-- and in the end, it is Lemon and Lavon who get married and Zoe and Wade have a baby! While that practically sums up the romance part of the show-- it leaves us to believe that there are happy endings. And that if you truly love someone you will find your way to each other. And sometimes a relationship can form first through just casually hooking up. As Wade and Zoe went from friends to casual to dating to back to friends, to hooking up again to the end of having a baby and getting married. While we all fantasize about ending up with a Wade Kinsella (aka the ultimate bad boy), because what is more romantic than a man changing for you? But like we established before, you can't change someone no matter how much you care or love them-- unrealistic expectations come into play.
6 Gossip Girl
How come in television shows they make toxic relationships and the ultimate bad boy so much more appealing? Why do women fantasize over having some twisted relationship such as Blair and Chuck in Gossip Girl? Do we like the idea of having a love that is hard-- a guy that is a slight challenge and a bit dangerous? All these questions come into play as we all have at one point or another wanted a love like Chuck and Blair-- we thought about what it would be like to be with a Chuck Bass. But then we come back down to earth and realize how toxic their relationship really is and how sure we all want what we can't have but that does not mean we should settle for anything less than what we deserve. Gossip Girl makes us expect that no matter how difficult or toxic a relationship may be, no matter how bad a person may be for you, if you love them you should never let them go. Even if it takes years for you two to find your way back to each other. But that isn't really living-- as we all really just want somebody to love.
5 The Bachelor
While this is a reality show-- it still gives us women false hope and high and unrealistic expectations. We like to believe that love exists, and that dates like what we see on The Bachelor exist. But reality sets in and most likely, none of the people on that show could ever afford to go on dates and travel like they do on the Bachelor-- as we all know the television production pays for it. But we love the idea of love, we like the idea that you can find your soulmate-- but realistically speaking can you know after a few weeks or couple of months that you want to marry someone? There we have unrealistic expectations-- we expect men to take us on fancy dates, and travel all over, and fall in love almost instantaneously and at the end propose to us. While all that sounds amazing it isn't real-- maybe parts of the show are but if we are being honest it just gives women the idea of expecting a relationship to play out how it does on the show when we all know in reality it takes a long time to know someone, to fully find yourself wanting to be with them for the rest of your life. And if you doubt this-- just look at how many of the Bachelor relationships have not lasted? It definitely leaves you wondering what is real and what isn't.
4 Sex and The City
While Sex and The City is a lot about uniting with your best girlfriends it is also about romance and love and the world of dating. It gives women the idea that most men won't ever really settle down-- as in, you may be Carrie Bradshaw and dating Big for 1o+ years and never get married or you will be like Samantha and enjoy casual hookups more so because well, you love yourself more. Or you will end up like Miranda with a super complicated relationship and a kid, or you will be like Charlotte who is happily married but that doesn't mean everything is perfect in her life. These women make life look so exciting, casual hookups look-- casual and fun, and that eventually you will or won't find the love of your life. It is all a balancing act really-- and while, we find ourselves often wishing we had the lives of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda-- the reality of it is that relationships aren't always that complicated or that peachy. And after some time, casual hookups aren't that exciting either. As little girls, we all dreamed of finding prince charming and getting married some day-- while we may not find prince charming you will find someone perfect for you. But Sex and The City makes it seem like being single is the best and only option.
3 No Strings Attached
For a guy and a girl trying their hardest to maintain their relationship strictly casual is not exactly ever a good idea-- as in reality, someone always develops feelings and someone always gets hurt. In No Strings Attached, Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman think that maintaining everything as only physical is a good plan-- but sooner or later, they realize that they actually want something more. While this is super cute because realistically speaking, most women don't really want just casual-- and they like the idea of eventually things turning into more-- which that usually never happens. This film gives women who want casual hookups the expectation that the guy will end up falling in love with you and that you two will end up together in the end. This only gives women false hope because if we go into things casually-- the physical aspect only makes a woman feel more attached and ultimately develop feelings for the man. This goes back to "he can change" mindset-- when we have already established that he won't and can't. While sometimes it is possible to go from casual to a relationship it is more unlikely that will happen in real life versus a movie.
2 Beastly
Taken from the classic film Beauty and The Beast-- this modern day film puts a twist on the classic. We like to believe that it is who someone is on the inside that attracts us the most to them rather than their looks-- but reality sets in and unfortunately, physical appearance is what attracts us first. Granted, it is about who someone is rather than what they look like, we all see physical features first when determining if we are even interested. Beastly gives us hope that even the most unlikely romances can evolve over time and that we shouldn't be so quick to judge a book by its cover. While those are excellent life lessons this film also leaves us with unrealistic expectations. As the beast starts doing grand gestures just to get beauty's attention-- while all that is sweet-- such as building her a greenhouse it isn't realistic. No man it actually that romantic even if we like to fantasize that he is.
1 Endless Love
Do you believe that love is endless? This film makes us all believe that love lasts forever and through all the ups and downs, love conquers all. While maybe that has some truth to it-- this film gives women the idea that love will be exactly how it is in the film. It is a lot like Romeo and Juliet-- in the sense that the parents at first are not too keen on the guy but over time he does win over the family. And her love for him is so strong-- it gives the idea of a forbidden love that much more appealing. We like to fantasize about the forbidden love, the idea that a love that is challenging is worth more than a love that comes easy. It gives us unrealistic views on how relationships are-- sure there are everyday struggles and everyone fantasizes about raw passionate romance and young love but it isn't real. And we tend to forget that what happens in films is not the way love or relationships are in real life.
